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Dating violence is a pattern of controlling behavior that someone uses against a girlfriend or boyfriend. Dating violence does not have to be physical. It can include verbal and emotional abuse - constant insults, isolation from family and friends, obsessive phone calling, extreme possessiveness, name calling, controlling what someone wears-and it can also include sexual abuse. This type of abuse can happen to anyone, at any age. Dating violence also occurs in same sex relationships.
Are you a victim of Dating Violence?
Does your boyfriend/girlfriend do any of the following? If you answer yes to any of these questions, you might be a victim of dating violence.
- Refuses to accept a break-up? Threaten to commit suicide if you leave them?
- Is jealous or possessive, frequently checks up on you?
- Isolates you from friends or family?
- Puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him or her?
- Tries to control you by giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking your opinions seriously?
- Scares you? Makes you worry about their reactions to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons?
- Is violent? Has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly? Grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
- Pressures you for sex or is forceful about sex?
- Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
- Has a history of failed relationships? Blames the other person for all the problems?
- Makes your family and friends concerned for your safety?
What if you are a victim of dating violence and you want out?
- Tell your parents, a friend, a counselor, or someone else you trust and who can help.
- Stay in touch with friends & stay involved in activities you enjoy. The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser has over you.
- Alert your school officials, teachers, counselor or security officer.
- Keep a written account of the abuse.
- Consider filing for an injunction for protection. In Florida, if you are 18 years or older, you can obtain a protection order yourself without an adult’s permission. If you are under 18, you can get a protection order by yourself without an adult’s involvement if you are dating the abuser.
- Do not meet your partner alone. Do not let him/her into your home or car when you are alone.
- Avoid being alone at school, your job, and on the way to and from places.
- Always tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back.
- Call SPARCC’S 24-hour hotline (941-365-1976) or the Teen Dating Violence Hotline (866-331-9474) to talk to someone who can provide resources and help.
Click here to download the Teen Power & Control Wheel
Other resources:
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